Auto-Tune the News #8: dragons. geese. Michael Vick. (ft. T-Pain)
Sep0
mp3: http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune…
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Lyrics:
JB: Imagine with me for a moment. Imagine an America. Imagine a world Where people pop the hood of their cars And they see stamped on an electronic motor the words: “Made in America.”
All: Made in America! Made in America!
JB: Imagine, imagine…
All: Made in America! Made in America!
JB: That’s what I want to imagine!
All: God bless y’all.
MV: Now I wanna be part of the solution and not the problem. But I gotta start somewhere, gotta crawl before I walk.
All: Ay! Crawl before I walk, ay! Crawl before I walk!
EG & SG: Before he flies like an Eagle.
EG: woo!
SVP: Michael Vick served his time, he paid his debt to society and now, he has either earned or been given another chance.
SVP,EG,SG: Another chance!
MR: Katie Couric is off today.
AG: But I’m still lookin at a fine shawtay.
MR: I’m Maggie Rodriguez.
AG: Nice to meet you, boo. Let’s talk about the news.
MR: The city of New York is declaring a war on geese And some animal activists are crying
AG: Crying?
MR: Crying
AG: Crying?
MR: Crying foul.
AG: Crying how?
MR: Crying “foul”.
AG: oh
MR: Birds can become a feathered foe if they collide with airplanes
AG: True.
MR: Operation Goose-be-gone involves reducing the population within five miles of the airport
Both: Those geese are cooked. Those geese are cooked, cooked, cooked.
MR: Wildlife experts and the FAA agree
Both: Those geese are cooked.
AG: The Federal Commission of Me agrees
Both: Those geese are cooked.
AG: Now they livin on a wing and a prayer
Both: A wing and a prayer
AG: How many geese?
MR: Two thousand geese.
AG: That’s a lot of geese.
MR: Those geese are f—ed.
AG: So sad and so tasty for my helpless flyin homies.
MR: The debate continues in New York, but for now
Both: Those geese are cooked, cooked.
CG: As you can see from the chart, A massive fire-breathing Debt and Deficit Dragon
CG: I have a chart.
CC: He has a chart!
CG: I have a chart.
CC: A dragon chart!
CG: The surtax is painful to the goose, Lethal to the goose
CC: Which goose?
CG: The goose that lays the golden egg
CC: My favorite goose
CG: The goose that lays, the goose that lays, lays the golden egg.
CC: That goose is cooked, cooked, cooked!
JE: Am I wasted or did that really transpire? So many metaphors my brain is on fire. *phone* Ay!
TPain: Ay!
JE: Ay!
TPain: Ay!
JE: Ay!
TPain: Tell Katie-Coo, stop screenin my calls. Or else, she gon be on Very thin ice
JE: Very thin ice
KC: Very thin ice
All: Very thin ice
JE: Sing it T-Pain, geese are on
All: Very thin ice
MR: Those geese are cooked, those geese are cooked, cooked.
SVP: Give ‘em another chance.
CG: The goose that lays the golden egg!
MR: Those geese are f—-ed. Those geese are
All: Made in America, made in America
SVP: Michael Vick served his time
JE: But he’s on very thin ice
All: Very thin ice. Very very very thin ice.
Auto-Tune the News #7: texting. rhyming. pat buchanan fail.
Aug0
mp3: http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune…
ATTN shirts available:http://www.districtlines.com/Auto-Tun…
Thanks to our friend Aaron for his arresting appearance in this episode!
http://www.myspace.com/asteele
Lyrics:
JE: Let’s get it right.
ABS: Let’s get it right.
JE: Shawty on the mic.
AH: The fact is that right now if you are black or hispanic,
you have a much greater chance of being arrested.
JE: Are you sayin we got thugs in the fuzz?
AH: Particularly when it comes to the war on drugs.
JE/ABS: Real talk, we got caught together smokin lettuce leaves.
JE: Lettuce leaves.
ABS: They put me in the slammer.
JE: They gave me a college degree!
ABS: WTF?
JE: In biology.
ABS: He don’t know a tiger from a giraffe.
DB: It is painful, it is shameful.
ABS: Disdainful! I’m on parole.
JE: I’m keepin my glass of champagne full
top of the world.
ABS: Brick on my ankle.
DB: If you are stopped by the police
Putcha head down and just wait.
ALL: Wait!
DB: Wait.
ALL: Wait!
DB: Wait.
ALL: Wait!
DB: Don’t say nothin.
ABS: Shh.
DB: Wait.
ALL: Wait!
DB: Wait.
ALL: Wait!
DB: Putcha head down
ALL: Do the dance now!
DB: Putcha head down and just wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
ALL: Putcha head down, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
AH: This is happening all the time
It’s really stunning
————————-
PB: This has been a country built by white folks.
100% of the people who wrote the Constitution,
100% of the people who signed the Declaration of Independence,
White folks, Whi–i–i–ite folks!
I look at the track team, and they’re all black folks.
I think maybe those are the fastest guys we got.
Fastest guys in the country,
Fastest in the wooooorld.
Black folks, Bla—a–a–ack folks!
SG: WTF? I think I’m having an stroke,
Suffering a white guy overload.
Doctor, doctor, can a shawty get a shot to the frontal lobe.
OH.
AS: It’s not always just black and white, black and white.
We’re fighting right now for a young white male
Who we felt the police abused by sticking something in his rectum.
EG: Why they gotta disrespect him?
SG: Can we please move on now, Reverend?
AS: Sticking something in his rectum.
——————-
DL: Trouble, we got trouble right here in Capitol City.
With a capitol T, and it rhymes with B, that stands for broke!
CC: We broke!
DL: Right here in Capitol City, right here, we gotta figure out
a way to help the Americans who are about to choke!
CC: No joke!
DL: Oh yes we’ve got trouble. Trouble, trouble.
CC: Triple trouble.
DL: Trouble, trouble.
CC: Big time trouble.
DL: T! Rhymes with -
CC: P!
DL: Rhymes with -
CC: C!
DL: Rhymes with -
CC: G!
AG: I’m angry!!
DL: Rhymes with D.
And it stands for Democrat.
CC: Oooh.
——————-
KC: Texting while driving is dangerous, dangerous.
EG/SG: Treacherous!
MG: Perilous!
KC: People who were text messaging were 20 times
more likely to have an accident than those who were
talking on phones instead of typing. Just say no.
EG: But I’m a sucker for peer pressure. My thumbs can’t stop!
KC: Get a designated texter.
MG: [sexy breathing] Ow!
KC: People on the road can turn an LOL into a great big OMG.
ALL: People on the road can turn an LOL into a great big OMG.
People on the road can turn an LOL into a great big OMG.
—————————————- ———–
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Auto-Tune the News #6: Michael Jackson. drugs. Palin.
Jul0
mp3 available: http://amiestreet.com/music/the-grego…
ATTN shirts now available:http://www.districtlines.com/Auto-Tun…
the beat is a lightly remixed version of 100th Sight by Kapluckus (a Gregory Residence band consisting of Constance Waddell, Michael Gregory, Jamie Forrest, Stuart Harrison and Jacob Crigler)–find the original song here:
http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZ…
Lyrics:
NG: Hey-ohhhh! Congress! Climate change bill! Let’s get our debate on–1,2,3
MB:
It is time to stand up and say
We get to choose
We get to choose
It’s one of the two
liberty or tyranny
EG: can we please choose something in between? mediocrity?
MG: chastity?
HW: puppetry?
OB: obesity?
JE: marijuanity? pretty please?!
MB: The underlying bill represents the tyranny of the government
It’s our choice, what will we choose today?
Will we choose liberty, or will we choose tyranny?
MG: it all depends–who gets to be the tyrant?
SG: I thought this bill was about the climate
NP: Just remember these 4 words
For what this legislation means
Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs
Let’s vote for jobs
CC: and jobs
NP: and jobs
CC: don’t forget about jobs
Speaker: Those in favor say “aye”.
CC: AAAAYYE!
Speaker: Those opposed, “no”.
JB:
Hell no! Hell no! Hell noooooooo!!
The fight that we have between the 2 sides of the aisle boils down to one word:
JB: freedom
CC: freedom!
JB: freedom
CC: freedom!
JB: freedom that will allow the American people to live their lives
hell no!
Nano Man: hell no!
JB: hell no!
Nano Man: hell no!
JB: hell noooooooo!
Nano Man: hell no!
That will allow America to flourish, allow jobs to flourish, and allow freedom to flourish!
hell noooooooo!
———————
SP:
I’m not wired to operate under the same old politics as usual.
With this announcement that I’m not seeking re-election, I’ve determined that it’s best to transfer the authority of governor to Lieutenant Governor Parnell.
RS:
Hey, could she be pregnant?
EG: Pregnant with ideas bout how to run for president!
CW:
Interesting and perhaps successful strategy to win her the presidency.
MG: To win you gotta quit!
EG: To quit you gotta win!
MG: the chips are on the table -
WK: She’s really all in.
But it’s high risk.
JL:
The people who like her
Are still gonna like her
The people who have doubts about her
Are just gonna have the same doubts
EG: No doubt
JL: Same doubts
MG: SHAWTAYEE
All: Same doubts!
———————-
Couric:
What do you do if you have Tylenol and other medications with acetaminophen?
JE: I take a fistful of pills
and get busy mixin em in my gin
What about Vicodin and Percocet? Will they be banned ultimately?
JE: Not if I can help it!
You know it’s unconstitutional
To take away my God-given pharmaceuticals
———————–
BO: I have warned that one day
Michael Jackson would wake up dead
Wake up, wake up dead
Meredith, I had warned everyone–
SG: –He told you so
BO: –one day we’re going to have this experience
I feared this day
And here we are
Keith, people often die
for very strange reasons
They wake up dead
Wake up, wake up dead
EG: wakin up
MG: wakin up
BO: wakin up
KC: wakin up
EG: wakin up is a strange reason to diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie
…….whoo!
—————————————- ———–
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Auto-Tune the News #5: lettuce regulation. American blessings.
Jun0
Debate at the capitol building is fierce, and in perfect pitch. Whichever congressman/woman hits the highest note gets to pass his/her legislation. mp3 link will be online soon!
find us on twitter:http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews
and/or facebook:http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers
Lyrics:
ML: Any world order
That elevates one nation over another
Will fall flat
SG: Ah, snap
ML: I think that goes against the idea of American exceptionalism
SG: Exceptional fast food and exceptional dance moves.
ML: Most Americans believe that this country was gifted by God, a blessed nation, and that we are better.
SG: Yeah, we the promised land, a sacred place, gettin blessed by Joe Biden in space!
JB: God bless America!
All: Ay!
JB: Gah-awd bless America!
All: Ay!!
JB: God bless, God God bless
God bless America!!
All: Ay-men!!!
SB: Do you realize if you were to take that lettuce, dry it, and roll it, and smoke it…
MG: I know, it tastes like goat shit.
SB: You smoke your lettuce.
MG: Believe me, I’ve tried.
SB: You’re gonna end up with similar problems than if you were smoking tobacco.
MG: I know, fo sho, you should try it with tomato - burnin salad in my throat!
RM: Steve Buyer, warning complacent Americans about the risks of smoking lettuce.
MG: You can warn me all you want, but you’ll never stop my leafy green fetish.
SB: It’s not the nicotine that kills! It’s the smoooooke! The smooooooke. Cancer: it’s the smoke. Heart disease: it’s the smoke. Respiratory disease: it’s the smoooooooke! It’s the, it’s the inhalation, it’s the smooooke, the smooooooke. If they wanna obtain their nicotine, it’s okay. It’s the smooooooke, the smooooooooooooke!
SG: The more produce we come across, the more problems we see.
KC: Some companies say they’ve received hundreds of applications for just a single opening.
One man sent a shoooooe to his prospective employer
EG: Shawtayee, don’t you know
That Air Jordan was from meeee?
KC: I wore a long, white eyelet dress and a floppy white hat
And carried a walking stick
EG: Oo-wee! Am I crazy, am I trippin on shrooms
Or you singin bout pimpin on the late night news?
Katie Coo, baby boo, you got swagga like a star
Don’t stop, real talk, we gon take it to the charts!
You can be
KC: Lady Gaga
EG: I can be
KC: T-Pain
EG: We can be
KC: Bringing on the boogie
EG: Droppin rhymes like rain
You can be
KC: Lady Gaga
EG: I can be
KC: T-Pain
Both: Bringing on the boogie
EG: With floppy hats and pimp canes
LC: We’ve got some breaking news
Let’s go to Tracy Burns–she’s got all the news
TB: Actually, Liz, I think you wanna jump up to Robert
Robert: Tracy, baby, you crazy
I don’t know what the hell’s goin on
Or where the camera belongs
Let’s go to Nicole
NP: Me?
Robert: Yeah, you
NP: Me?
Robert: Baby boo
NP: Me?
Robert: Whooo-ooooooooh
NP: Me?
Robert: Nicole don’t know; let’s throw it to Joe
Joe: Uh, you know, I’m, uh, tryna get a hold of this myself
Breaking news guys, um
I, I don’t have it, Liz, I have to send it back down to you
I’m afraid
LC: Okay, that’s okay
But the basics of it is
Clearly this is a fascinating story
Auto-Tune the News #3: cuba. afghan friendship. 2-party woes.
May0
mp3 available for download:
http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune…
Zach McNees helped mix:
Lyrics:
EH: I think this is an ignoramus statement
Umm, I was even a person who thought
You know what, power to Joe the Plumber at that point
SG: Before he went around laying his pipe all over town
EH: Well, Joe the Plumber is not invited
Anywhere around me
EG: Does baby need a tissue?
Thinking about the time the plumber kissed you
Before you caught him creeping with the Shih Tzu
RM: As republicans, the party does seem to be in chaos
RP: They need to change their attitude, attitude
Their attitude, attitude
MG: Ay, tells us what your homeys can do
To make a change
RP: You know, they talk about personal freedoms
They have to believe in it, you know
MG/RM: We know!
RP: To believe in it, you know
MG/RM: We know!
RP: To believe in it, you know
MG/RM: We know, we know, we know you just got to believe
RP: To believe in it, you know
MG/RM: We know!
RP: To believe in it, you know
MG/RM: We know!
RP: To belieeeeeeeeeve! Lieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve!
MG: You saying Republicans on crack
Are you cozy with the Democrats?
RP: I just don’t think that either party
Right now offers a whole lot
MG: You’ll see some real change
From the 3rd party at my house
Poppin champagne, bacardi; gettin crunked out
Triple rhymin with Joe Biden�
While we Imbibin Hennessy
Come on over–drinks on me, homey
HK: We’ll be friends with you
AZ: And bff with you
Main Damies with you
HK: And colleagues with you
AZ: I’ll be in your crew
HK: I’ll be in yours, too
AZ: Jumpin rope with you
HK: Playin Donkey Kong with you
AZ: Hatchin plans with you
HK/AZ: invade Tajikistan with you
HC: We do not believe either Afghanistan or Pakistan
Can achieve lasting progress
Without the full participation of all of your citizens
Including women and girls
AZ: Having a barbecue
HK: Grilling a goat with you
AZ: Grilling terrorists, too
HK: Getting matching tattoos
HC: The rights of women must be respected and protect–
AZ: –Picking flowers with you
HK: Hot showers with you
AZ: Falling in love with you
HK: Nude at the zoo
AZ/HK: Making memories at the pottery wheel, rubbing clay on you all afternoon
KC: It would be one of the most dramatic
Foreign policy about faces ever
AG: To what do you refer, shawtayee?
KC: A bipartisan bill in Congress would end
The 47-year-old trade freeze with Cuba
AG: Ojalá congreso le gusta esta
KC: It has only spotty support so far
But President Obama’s already taken some baby steps
Letting Cuban Americans visit family members
And send them money
But for most of us it’s still a place that is
Strictly off limits
AG: Not for this G
I just went there illegally
Speaking of which, will you buy drugs from me
On national TV?
Don’t fret–the people think I’m joking
But guess what (what?)?
I’ve never joked in my life; ooh-wee, shawtayee
KC: The trade embargo made sense a half century ago
AG: That’s 50 years
KC: During the Cold War
Fidel Castro took sides with the enemy
But the Soviet Union is long gone
AG: Disbanded:
KC/AG: Long gooooone!
SG: Dick Cheney. Rush Limbaugh or Colin Powell. Who’s your damie?
DC: Well, if I had to choose, uh
In terms of being a Republican I’d go with Rush Limbaugh
My take on it was Colin had already left the party
SG: I don’t think that actually happened
[awkward silence]
This is an awkward silence;
I guess I’ll fill it with ad libs
Oh! Shawty! Yeah
EG: Whoo! Aaaah
KC: Now it’s up to Fidel and Raúl Castro
AG: Esos Castros locos. Cuidado
KC: President Obama says he wants to see Democratic reforms
Particularly on human rights and free speech
So congress will be looking for signs of change
After almost 50 years
AG: Ay, that’s half a century
KC: U.S. policy will not reverse overnight
Relations remain chilly
But for the 1st time in generations
A thaw is possible
AG: A thaw, but what sort of thaw?
What exactly is thawing?
KC: Very, very, very, very
Very thin ice
AG/KC: Very thin ice, very thin ice, very thin ice
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Auto-Tune the News #2: pirates. drugs. gay marriage.
Apr0
For the second time, pundits and news anchors urgently break into song to deliver the news.
Download the mp3 here:
http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune…
The players in the news opera include:
Andrew Gregory (my big bro). You can also find him here: http://andrewgregorymusic.com/
Ruth Marcus on gay marriage
Kiran Chetry on marijuana
Sean Hannity and Hillary Clinton on pirates
Katie Couric on melting ice
Lyrics:
RM: This was a pretty remarkable week on the gay marriage front
First of all, to have a state like Iowa
MG: Whatchoo tryna say about Iowa
RM: Not the east coast state
MG: East coast
RM: Not the left coast state
MG: Left coast
RM: In a decision written by a republican appointee
MG: shawty, now you sounding so fine
Give me your number, we can bump and grind
Talkin about politics all night
Leavin the club in the mornin light
If we get carried away
We might get gay-married today
KC: We just heard from some of our viewers who strongly support legalizing marijuana
MG: Shawty, 5 of those calls was from me
KC: Do you think we should legalize pot alone or all drugs, including heroine, cocaine, and meth?
MG: My brain says no, but my body says yes!
AG: I’m an angry gorilla. I heard you needed me (ooh ooh ah ah)
SH: Now that Captain Phillips has been successfully rescued
The president has decided to step in front of the spotlight�
AG: Ooh, I’m angry! You can’t see it, but my forehead’s veiny
SH: And even take some credit for the rescue
AG: Well, don’t you worry, baby boo
You’ll always have an angry gorilla to be angry with you
That’s what I do. Just ask Donkey Kong. He’s in my crew
KC: At the North Pole, new satellite photos show arctic ice is melting so fast
AG: Oh snap, how fast?
KC: Many scientists now believe it will be gone within 30 years
AG: Surely you jest! I’m under cardiac arrest, shawty
KC: Some researchers think it could disappear in just six
AG: Shit!
KC: Without it there could be a snowball effect
AG: Oh
KC: With temperatures rising even faster
If we all don’t take bold action and take it fast
AG: Yeah,
Both: We will find ourselves on very thin ice
MG: Tell em, Hillary, pirates on very thin ice
HC: These pirates are criminals�
They are armed gangs on the sea
MG: That means the ocean
HC: The United States does not make concessions
Or ransom payments to pirates
…
MG: Hello, shawty, we can meet up at the mall
Browse around at the bookstore
Mentally ball until we fall